Shards
by Hearts4Black
Summary: On moments during her capture she sees both sides. [KairixSaix]
1. Behind Your Bars

Disclaimers: I sick of these...I know you know what they know..wtf...

**Shards**

He had lost pieces of himself over the years, he knew it, he could sense their absence even though he couldn't feel it. But here stood the little girl that Axel took, he said something about a connection to the keyblade weilder. Her deep blue eyes and auburn hair, she was whole.

Every piece held together by the fabric of her heart and soul, Saix loved it and hated that he did.But she had a nobody, she didn't know it but she did. Why should he be left torn apart while she remained full?

Her eyes sought him out apart from the shadows, behind the bars of her prison. Her expression reminded him of some great caged beast, weary and pained by the death of her freedom. He could almost feel the emotions that coursed through her body, it tainted and sickened the darkness around him. Kairi's spirit was fading aganist the ever present darkness and emptyness that came with being in the World That Never Was.

He almost felt sorry for her – almost.

And still he sensed pieces of hope inside her, hope that somehow someway aganist all odds Sora would come for her. Saix was amused by this the most, he had lost all hope along the way he couldn't even recall the feeling of hope. It must be a stupid emotion he thought, for it was keeping this girl going and it would only shatter her heart in the end when he never came.

Hope – that was why she rebelled aganist the darkness and hated those, like him, who clung to it so desperatly.

**XxxXxxX**

Kairi found it strange, sometime she hated her captors with such a passion her anger threatend to explode. And sometimes when she watched them from behind her bars, she felt so sorry for them. Sorry enough for her heart to ache, sorry enough to cry for them when they could not cry for themselves.

He watched her now, crying. Thinking that her situation was the reason for her tears, let him think that, she thought.

"Tell me, does it hurt when you cry?"

The oddity of his question stopped her soft sobs for a moment.

"No." Was her muffled reply.

"Really, I always thought people suffer something when they cry."

Kairi nodded, "They do, but it doesn't hurt, the tears that is."

Suddenly and with swift ease, his hand reached past her bars to grasp her chin and suprisingly he softly pulled her chin up so their eyes met.

"Then whats ailing you, Kairi?"

The answer came slowly and quietly, "I don't know anymore."

Something dawned on his face and seeming sastisfied her released her. His frame became a shadow and then his shadow became nothing.

**XxxXxxX**

Nature's wrath still frightened her. Saix could see that now, as she jumped each time the storm outside flashed, sending a deep rumble throughout the castle.

She huddled in the corner of her trap, closing her eyes to each quake.

Saix laughed, in many ways she was still a girl.

Blue eyes fretfully searched for him, and when she spotted him he was surprised to see a small look of relief on her face.

"You're here," She mumbled.

"Hmmm, you don't sound to glad."

"Should I be?"

Saix smirked and walked further from her and closer to the door.

With the speed of a dusk she was at clinging to the cell bars, "Wait! Don't go!"

The Luna Diviner hadn't expected such a reaction, but none the less he complied. Walking up to her prison and looking down on her.

"J-just don't-don't leave me a-alone, I've had that happen before." She mumbled returning to her corner.

Saix smirked the whole time, watching as she fell to sleep with a look of peace to her features.

**XxxHearts4Black**

ohhh...this turned out better then I thought...please tell me what you think!


	2. Locked In A Cage

…I didn't think I was going to continue this considering the lack of reviews, I mean I really don't know how this fic is turning out without any responses. Saix/Kairi pairings are hard to come by so I'm wondering if I did it any justice, if not I'm really sorry! 

**- Shards -**

Xaldin had taken to visiting Kairi's cell daily, at first Saix didn't care, why shouldn't the other Nobodies pondering over her connection to the Keyblade or the intriguing fact that she seemed so much more different then any other Nobody. It was when Xaldin seemed to watch Kairi with a predator's eye; he knew then that Xaldin merely thought of Kairi in perverse ways.

He felt the need to protect her every time he saw the Whirlwind Lancer prowling the jail and its many rows of cells. He did not know why he felt this, or above all why and how. But he took a stab of pleasure when he catches Kairi's relief, as he appears from the shadows to warn Xaldin away.

**XxxXxxX**

Sometimes when Kairi's tired of the silence that passes between them and afraid that he leave out of boredom, she talks to him. It doesn't matter if he listens or if he responds, it's just to keep him entertained. Kairi hated to agree with it, but she felt slightly afraid when he wasn't around, she was afraid of the other members, afraid of the darkness and the shadows.

It was funny how the other organization members seemed to stiffen when Saix appeared, they were weary of him, didn't trust him. And then how she, a frail girl, felt safe when he was there.

Sometimes she talks about Sora, he doesn't respond when she mentions things about him but she knows he's listening intently. Once she told him about the time when Sora and her spent a day at the beach, and how they held hands and watched the sunset against the orange waters. She saw him stiffen for a moment as if in pain, she saw the flash of his eyes looking at her from his place on the chair across the room.

She stopped talking to him then about the days before, she tells him everything else – except things of Sora.

XxxXxxX 

At the mention of Sora's name, Saix remembers the feeling of jealousy. When he hears Kairi's voice, so soft and pure, say Sora's name he thinks that sharp snap of pain is jealousy. When he imagines Kairi whispering his own name, he remembers the feeling of pleasure.

**XxxXxxX**

The girl is shaking from her spot across from Xemnas, Saix can feel her trembling against his own grip on her arm, and he can feel her fear. He can't remember her looking so afraid and frail, even her first night here or the night of that storm.

Xemnas is a monster feeding off Kairi's fear; he smiles, more like sneers at her.

"Give her to me." He commands.

Not once in his service to Xemnas had he ever felt reluctant to obey, never has he ever disobeyed a command. He grabs the girl's arm and she looks up at him, her blue eyes searching and pleading, that look makes him feel guilty and disgusted, so disgusted by himself for what he was and will always be.

He swallows a lump that has formed in his throat and then with effort he pulled Kairi behind him, "No."

**xxxHearts4Black**

Not finished yet as long as you read and review!!!! Please???!!!


	3. Throw Away Their Key

Heeheehee….I got reviews…

**- Shards -**

Saix couldn't get over the look Xemnas had given him, when he had defiled the Superior's orders he expected much more then a complicated smirk – much more. Death, torture, a bumping of rank, these were the many things he thought of as he pushed Kari behind and braced for the worst.

Xemnas had just glared at him quietly analyzing and comparing, then he smirked and Saix felt like the Superior almost wanted to laugh at him. He had swept a hand threw the air, "Very well then, take her back to her cell."

And Saix did, that was one command he didn't mind obeying. Trouble seemed to brew and boil over every time he took her out of her cage. Kairi hadn't wanted to go back to that cell, but she had followed him with a small frown. That small frown still was painted on her features as she shook and trembled in the far corner.

Saix frowned; he worried about the state she was in. She seemed to be getting sicker and sicker as the days went by. Maybe she was losing hope like he had thought; maybe the darkness was claiming her.

XxxXxxX 

Moonlight didn't reach this place; it spilled inside from the single window across her jail but dared not journey past the bars. Constantly surrounded in darkness she was, she felt it creeping inside her, brushing against bones, tickling arteries, and seeping into her heart. It provided a numb feeling that made her forget happy memories and thoughts, it made her shake and tremble without control.

She stretched her body out to its full extent vainly searching for comfort on this cold floor. Nothing worked and so she decided to distract herself from her environment by talking to him.

"W-why did you do that?"

He didn't move, no rustling of his cloak, no eye contact.

"Xemnas can get out of hand and I do not wish for him to jeopardize the project, if you are dead Sora won't come."

"O-oh I see." Kairi answered, her voice wavering between defeat and demand.

This time he walked up to her cage and placed a pale hand delicately on one of the metal bars.

"Tell me, what are you feeling?"

She looked to him confused and tired, "Hmm?"

"The darkness is taking over is it not?"

She nodded slowly still trying to ignore the fact. Suddenly her mental walls collapsed and she felt the sting of hot tears burning her eyes, she was never going home, never seeing Sora again.

Her sobs made her retch and heave, never had she felt so alone.

There was a dark movement and the hiss of a cloak before two arms embraced her with desperate need.

XxxXxxX 

Saix cursed his weakness as he held the weeping girl against him, he didn't understand why he felt like he needed to protect her. Was it because she was just young, just a girl? Maybe it was her innocence, or the fact that she was so damn delicate and fragile – like a pretty glass doll.

With a little bit of regret he noted how her skin felt under his fingers, her crying had stopped suddenly and painlessly. She stayed silent and motionless; Saix feared what she would do next.

XxxXxxX 

Kairi pulled away from him only to catch a glance of his face. Meeting his gaze she hunted for a sign of compassion or pity and saw nothing but coldness and a suppressed emotion. By now she was fully aware of how she must look, tears blurring the blue of her eyes she prided herself on, hair streaming across her cheekbones, face flushed of all healthy color. She wanted to pull away and huddle off into her corner, but he wouldn't let her go.

Saix's hold on her tightened and Kairi scanned his face for an explanation; with surprising force he pulled her to her feet and backed her against the stone wall. In a blink of one's eye, he was kissing her.

His kiss felt terribly desperate and needy, lips bruising hers. To her own mild horror she caught herself kissing back with equal passion.

He broke apart and hastily backed a few feet away from her. Panting slightly and looking shocked; he straightened his robes and with renewed pace left her cell, closing the door behind him with a heavy bang.

**xxxHeart4Black**

R&R Please….still not finished.


	4. Kept In Your Chains

There was this snow day….so I wrote this up. **Game Spoilers Ahead!**

**- Shards -**

Escape, she wanted to escape and be free. No more darkness and no more fear. Kairi wanted loose so badly, worse then ever before. She knew why she felt so afraid, it wasn't from the shadows or the emptiness – it was because of him.

She was afraid of Saix, not his silence or his fierce strength – though that should give anyone plenty of reasons for fear, she knew inside he would never wish to harm her. It was the feelings he evoked inside her, the equal feelings of dread and happiness she felt when he passed her cell, the anger and joy when his eyes met hers, the raw passion that had threatened her control.

You weren't suppose to love your enemy, weren't suppose to want your kidnapper, weren't suppose to feel this confused. Maybe if she returned home and built back her sense of regularity, these feelings would dissolve as quickly as they had come.

What would she do if someone came to save her?

"Psst…over here."

Kairi didn't recognize the soft melodic voice; she strained her ears to listen. Had she finally lost all sanity? Imagining a savior of sorts?

From a funneling dark cloud, a little girl's head appeared. Soft blonde hair, ivory skin, and striking blue eyes – Kairi felt as if she was looking into a mirror.

"Come with me and I can show you Sora."

Sora?…was he really here looking for her? She glanced around her surroundings and realized there was nothing left here to keep her staying, he was gone…didn't care for her.

Powered by a sudden surge of reckless abandonment she nodded and jumped into the dark portal, hoping that this little angel was real.

XxxXxxX 

Saix began his patrol of the castle, saving the dungeons for last. Even as he moved between the castle halls and rooms his only thought was of the dungeons, what would he do when he saw her again? And just how much more of this place could she take?

All of an hour later he came across _her_ cell to find it empty, door locked and window closed, how did she escape?

_Sora…._

As he remembered the boy's name an unexplained rage filled him. With practiced calm he left to find Xemnas.

**XxxXxxX**

Kairi and Namine raced down flight after flight of stairs, matched paces and rushed words. With each step she took she felt a piece of the darkness die away, only to be replaced by a piece of hollowness. She shook her head angrily; she was going home with Sora, not staying here.

There was no one left to stop here, _except him_.

As she and her companion rounded a corner they slid to a halt, Saix and four nobodies glared malevolently at their two runaways.

"I'm sorry Kairi, but I can't let you go."

His voice wasn't as hard as it normally was, his eyes didn't seem so cold. In his words she thought she heard a deeper meaning. She locked eyes with his amber ones, silently pleading.

_Tell me what you really want…_

Saix's mouth moved in hesitation, words beginning to form on his tongue, Namine shuffled expectantly, a nobody dropped dead behind him, and a hooded figure ended the silence.

Before Kairi could even react, Namine grabbed her arm and yanked painfully sending the two off running.

**XxxXxxX**

_He had come so close…she was right in front of him; he knew she had been waiting for him, waiting all this time._

He let out a small cry of frustration, he couldn't lose her to Sora, couldn't allow to leave this world until she knew. Anger fueled him, as he rushed an attack on this cloaked figure, this Riku – friend of Sora's.

**xxxHearts4Black **

R&R Please!!!!   We'll luff u for it!


	5. Knot The Rope

I know…I know…long time coming….oh by the way…this is the ending and there are spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn't finished the game.

**- Shards -**

Sora looked the way Saix had imagined – the boy playing the part of the hero, a knight in shining armor. He fought with the expected confidence that youth and experience brings, urged on by the aid of friends. Sora believed he was doing right but really any Nobody knew, if you saw life from their eyes your opinions of good and bad would be changed permanently.

Saix couldn't lose to him, he just _couldn't_. Not with Kingdom Hearts so near completion, not when he was so close to life and meaning, and maybe because of _her_. From the corner of his eye, Saix could make out her figure standing mortified behind the gate, unsure of what lied ahead and terrified for both of them.

The clash of metal against metal echoed like screams inside his brain, blood pumping with every carefully planned movement, each stab of pain tore his skin and reminding him of how close his false existence was coming to a close.

Pain and despair slowed his senses to the point where he could no longer track Sora's actions, making him vulnerable and allowing the Keyweilder's attacks to come more frequent.

So this is what it was like to lose hope? To be desperate? As he came to the sad realization that everything he had done had been all for nothing.

Bathed in the moonlight as always, he started to die, embracing the reactions that came along with it. The spreading cold like ice through his veins, the haziness that slowed his thinking, and finally the dimming that blurred his eyes and took her godly face from him. She had thrown herself against the gate tears streaming down her face; Saix smirked at her affectionately…so like a child he thought, crying and powerless.

Everything was symbolic; the gate itself separated Kairi from him, separating life from death. What wouldn't he give to touch her face through the gate and wipe away one tear. He looked to Kingdom Hearts with growing hatred; it had been a cruel mistress for it had betrayed him. And it rested there on its throne in the sky, basking in glory all while lazily watching him die.

"Where is my heart?" He screamed in vain, feeling everything slip as eternal darkness enveloped him, fading away piece by piece.

_You cannot find your heart…because it belongs to another…_

**XxxXxxX**

Kairi thought she was happy for the most part, seeing Sora smile and wink at her everyday still made her heart skip a beat, listening to him laugh made her forget all her troubles.

However when Kairi stopped to think about her life and the little things, it felt like something was missing, something that no matter how hard she tried – she couldn't place it. Kairi could only feel its absence like a missing piece or a broken shard. And only once did she ever witness its loss, when lightening ravaged the island outside her window and rattled her from her fevered sleep, she woke clinging for a memory that had already faded away.

**-End-**

**XxxHearts4Black**

R&R pretty please??


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